Top 33 Mustache Quotes

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“I want to see Brian Williams with no irony wearing a mustache.”

― Adam McKay

“I just grow a terrible mustache, so I try to use my neckbeard as a substitute. And when I get lazy, I don’t shave that often.”

― Andrew Luck

“I can’t grow a mustache. It’s pretty sad if I attempt to.”

― Ashton Kutcher

“The mustache – I was never happy with the fullness of it. I was a bit too young. Maybe I’ll bring it back in my mid-thirties.”

― Brandon Flowers

“The Brawny man is a prime example of a guy with a cool-looking mustache.”

― Brooklyn Decker

“I had beautiful wavy hair and a waxed mustache.”

― Curly Howard

“I had a mustache when I was 13.”

― David Schwimmer

“The Yankees have strict rules. You can have a mustache but no other facial hair.”

― Derek Jeter

“I had a mustache for 10 years.”

― Engelbert Humperdinck

“I look stupid without a mustache.”

― Erik Griffin

“My understanding, from what I’ve learned so far about Commissioner Gordon, is that he’s the older guy with the mustache who relates with our hero in a certain way.”

― J. K. Simmons

“I watched a lot of Douglas Fairbanks movies. He always played the same role with a mustache. Zorro had a mustache. The Musketeer had a mustache. Tarzan had a mustache.”

― Jean Dujardin

“Most people presume my mustache is not real because it’s much darker than my regular hair.”

― John Hodgman

“My mustache has become this weird iconic representation of a certain era.”

― John Oates

“A good mustache makes a man for many reasons.”

― John Oates

“The mustache represented the old John; I didn’t want to be that guy anymore, so I shaved it off. It was ritualistic in a way.”

― John Oates

“Having a mustache and never smiling became a permanent component of my persona through the quaintly self-important decade of the seventies.”

― John Oates

“I would quite like to play a big concert as Freddie Mercury. I can’t sing that great and I haven’t yet found a use for the over large size of my teeth. I quite fancy a mustache like that and he was such a great showman.”

― Kate Beckinsale

“The thing with the mustache is, it’s a classic. A guy can always wear a mustache. But it’s still tricky and potentially fraught with peril.”

― Kayleen Schaefer

“I’ve grown this mustache which saves me from having to glue on one every day in the heat.”

― Keith Carradine

“Believe me, I’ve taken a lot of heat for my mustache.”

― Kevin Connolly

“Eddie Drake is sort of this loose cannon, funny, edgy guy, who has this really foolish, foolish mustache.”

― Lee Tergesen

“It’s all about the stache, and I have so many fans that offer me tips on mustache wax that I actually really appreciate. I’ve been able to get some leads on some good products.”

― Lew Temple

“When I went to the Olympics, I had every intention of shaving the mustache off, but I realized I was getting so many comments about it – and everybody was talking about it – that I decided to keep it.”

― Mark Spitz

“I married the reigning mustache champion.”

― Megan Mullally

“I was about six years old when I did ‘Orchids and Ermine.’ They dressed me in a suit, put a mustache under my nose, a cigar in my mouth, a cane in my hand, and a hat on my head.”

― Mickey Rooney

“I should never, ever try and grow a mustache again.”

― Mike McCready

“I stuck with a mustache because… do you know Magnum P.I.?”

― Steven Adams

“I wash it every second day, and I use Kerastase shampoo and conditioner. I just stick to that. But I also have a mustache comb, and I shampoo and condition my mustache as well.”

― Steven Adams

“I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance.”

― Tom Lenk

“You’re basically competing with the same exact product. Coke and Pepsi are at least in different cans. Lyft and Uber drivers are just swapping out the mustache for the U on the dashboard, depending on which one they’re getting the call on.”

― Troy Carter

“I cannot pull off a mustache. It’s like threading a needle, because most of the time, I’ll look like a complete idiot.”

― Will Forte

“They told me I gave the best milk mustache of anybody.”

― Yasmine Bleeth
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