Tom Segura: The American Artist
Tom Segura is a famous and well-known stand-up multilingual comedian in the United States of America. He is also an actor, writer, podcaster, and among all a very decent human being. He works for various studios and channels. Tom Segura gives several live stage performances. A few days back, news came that he signed a contract with Netflix for the performance of two or more events. He earns approximately $3.5 million in a single year. His wife named Christina Pazsitzky, is also a performer. Along with his wife, he made a television agreement with a popular broadcasting channel called CBC (Columbia Broadcasting System). Famous show “The Little Things ” is under the banner of CBC, which makes him more popular among the audience.
Tom Segura, the talented boy, was born on 16 April 1979, in the city of America, Ohio. He has two female siblings. The upbringing of these kids was done under the guidance of his single mother named Peruvian. He was graduated from the University of Lenoir-Rhyne. In the year 2008, he found his soulmate Christina Pazsitzky who was his fellow-mate at the comedy session. They got married in November of the same year.
Most of the earnings are from concerts at theatres and clubs. He also earns from his writings and podcasts.
Tom Segura gives life’s best performance at the International Festival of Comedy at Melbourne, Australia. He also takes part in many comedy shows, and festivals like, Comedy Festival of South Beach, the Festival of Comedy, Just Laugh Festival of Comedy, etc.
Segura loves radio shows and appears on lots of famous ones like The tom and Bob Show, the Bennington Show, and many more.
He and his wife are now doing their podcasts and making many shows of their interest, which is appreciated by the audience.
Best Tom Segura Quotations List
“If you’re going to wear a cowboy hat, you’re going to have to go all the way. You should have livestock around you, settle all of your disputes with a pistol, and ride a horse absolutely everywhere.”
“I would trade 20 white babies for an Asian baby. If I’m ever rich, I want a closet full of Asian babies. And I’ll just pull them out whenever I’m feeling down, you know? All kinds. Korean ones. Chinese ones. Vietnamese – not so much. My dad was in the war, and I hold a grudge.”
“I like my shame straight up and honest, and nobody does it better than In-N-Out Burger. You go to In-N-Out Burger, and they ask you the most shameful question in fast food. ‘I’ll have a burger, fries and a Coke.’ ‘Will you be eating in the car?’ ‘Yeah. I think so.’”
“I don’t want to lose weight to live long or be healthy. I just want to be able to make fun of fat people again and know for sure that they’re fatter than me.”
“I always like it when I eat myself out of breath. That’s a good boost to my day. You know, I’m eating, and I go, ‘Oooohhh.’ It’s better a few moments later when you get to think about it, when you’re like, ‘Why did I just stop to take a deep breath? Oh yeah, my body also needs air.’”
“I’m a sarcastic, observational storyteller.”
“People will say, ‘What’s your favorite part of Cincinnati?’ I’m like, ‘I was nine, man. I liked recess and having snacks. I didn’t go anywhere. I was a kid.’”
“It’s okay for me to make jokes about disabled people and people with horrible diseases because they make me uncomfortable, and I don’t want to be like them.”
“I think I’m a decent person.”
“I think, to be a great conversationalist, you need to be interested in being in said conversation. Oddly enough, I think you need to be a great listener, and I do think I’m a good listener. I think that’s my asset – I always listen to people when I talk to them, and that’s a big thing you have to have in life and in podcasts.”
“I don’t like big events and crowded areas. I’m almost a curmudgeonly old man in that aspect. I’ve been like that forever.”
“Vancouver just feels comfortable to me.”
“I’m definitely a jaded traveler, but you try to make the best of what you know about the experience. Like, I know how to pack a bag. I know that checking a bag is for rookies.”
“I was about 17 or 18 years old, and Chris Rock’s ‘Bring the Pain’ came out, and I was obsessed. You know, it just hit on everything that was going on at that time and was such an in-the-moment special, and he knocked it out of the park.”
“When you tour as much as I do, you’re always on the road, and you tend to gravitate toward cities where you’re like, ‘Every time I’m in that city, the shows are fun.’”
“I’ll never be a TV writer.”
“I could see myself being on a TV show, but I think touring is something I’ll always do.”
“I’ve never been a big party guy or super social.”
“Every person learns with time and experience.”
“I used to do much shorter jokes a lot more.”
“You should make travel as comfortable as possible.”
“Traveling with kids is tough. My best advice is don’t do it.”
“Sleep is important for a comic – like it is for a lot of people.”
“When you’re a comic doing a special, it’s like you’re directing your first movie.”
“When you shoot a special, you have no idea what’s going to happen, and the fact that I got to do the first one with Comedy Dynamics was a roll of the dice. It was a game changer for me professionally.”
“Here’s some advice: if something really embarrassing happens to your kid, don’t take it on national TV.”
“I’ve always worked toward, and felt comfortable with, you know, pausing and guiding the audience on a longer bit.”
“I’m not the nicest guy on stage.”
“Standup is essentially part of your personality with the volume turned up.”
“The thing for me is that my natural state is to be reserved and not share.”
“I don’t switch my act up to win over the crowd. I’m more like, ‘You came here… this is what I do.’ I dig my heels in harder if I feel like they are not on board.”
“A lot of times, you land in a city, and you’re like, ‘This is not my people.’ I’m gonna do the show, but you don’t feel like this is for you. And then, some places, you just go and just fall into a groove, and you’re like, ‘This feels right.’”
“I think being funny was a coping mechanism because I was always the new kid in school.”
“I wasn’t the crazy kid bouncing off the walls, I would just sit back a make comments and I made people laugh.”
“It’s fun when you’ve opened for someone at a venue, and then years go by, and now you’re headlining.”
“I’m really happy when I’m actively creating things. When I’m frustrated and not excited, it’s because I haven’t written anything in a month or so.”
“Ninety percent of my material is made on stage, but I feel like you’re missing something by abandoning sitting down to write entirely.”
“I know there are a lot of comics that put their kids all over social media, but I think it’s weird. There are over 100,000 people following you. To me, it feels like you should probably tone that down.”
“You get such a visceral thrill driving a race car. You think you’ve driven, and then you’re like, ‘Oh, I was doing something for 20 years that I didn’t realize I hadn’t experienced the real version of.’”